Quote:
Originally posted by sycamore
Why these 3 items in general?
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Great question. (slang keeps a straight face while explaining the conspiracy)
Its actually a Pavlovian response created by an agreement with the American Dairy Council, the Strohmann bread cartel, Mr Whipple and the meteorology dept of every news broadcast in the country. I found myself caught up in the hypnotic effect of this years ago. While walking out the back door to make the 3 item purchase, I slipped on the snow building up on the stairs. It was only then that the spell was broken and I could think clearly enough to realize that I stockpile this stuff anyway, and have absolutely no need to go out and buy the remaining stock from Wawa, Acorn, Dandy market, etc.
It was at that exact moment, looking up from the ground after klunking my head, that I understood the relationship between this phenomenon and the fact that Americans
actually vote for Democrats. There was a secret technology at work. I just had to expose it. So, I did a study.
I first had to establish the medium that the hypnotic messages were transmitted. I isolated the weather guy's forecast from the nightly news, the front page of the evening paper, and recorded a clip from the local radio station. Though the message wasnt readily understood while going through these as normal, I found some rather disturbing hidden images and sounds when running the tapes backwards and looking at the front page in the mirror.
The image was Mr Whipple eating bread and drinking milk. Completely hidden from the normal perception, until you view it in the mirror.
The TV forecast when run at normal speed appeared to have an intermittent clicking. When slowed down there were very brief but progressive picures of Mr Whipple eating and drinking the same as in the paper but moving.
And the radio recording when played backwards very slowly had the message that drinking milk, eating bread and wiping would make your penis/breasts bigger, whichever was more appealing to the listener I'm guessing.
So, after close examination it seems that there is a conspiracy at work to compell the people to "buy 3 items when it snows" by the use of cleverly hidden subliminal messages.. Although I have not conducted the same experiment with a Democratic political ad, I'm assuming the same method is being used.
How else could people be hypnotized into voting for Rendell?