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freshnesschronic · 03-11-2007, 02:31 PM

Well, we broke up. Specifically I broke up with her.
During the fourth day of our break I IM'd her and we got to fighting (obviously) about the break and blah blah it evolved into me saying "don't you want to commit to me?" and she answering "no, I don't think I'm ready."

That's more than enough information for me. A relationship is about commitment to your partner. She couldn't give it to me. As much as I love her and want to be with her I can't keep this relationship going with a pseudo-girlfriend. I had to break up.

But in actuality, we broke up on very good terms. She was happy that I had become independent enough to break up with her. Yeah, I'm kinda dependent on her and clingy and she didn't want that. I guess that's the reason why we went on this break. And after that, WE WERE SO HAPPY! Like, we started chatting like it was October 2005 (the time period when we started to develop feelings for each other as friends). It was great, the rest of the nite and all of yesterday. We've defined ourselves as best friends

. With benefits...

We had agreed that we are very young (18 & 19) and we kinda rushed the feeling of love, but we eventually DID find true love in each other. And I left the door WIDE open for her to come back, I told her "if you just commit to me, we can get back together" because that's all I want from her. That's what I secretly want.
But anyway....yesterday nite as I was debating to out to a club and dancing with other girls she told me I should go. We started playing around like me saying "what if I danced with a girl, or made out or had SEX!?" and she was like "well, good for you you're having fun, as long as you don't give me STDs." And I'm like

What?! Then the conversation got more serious. She then started telling me I should stop waiting for her. Like I was gonna stay at home last nite and talk to her but she wanted me to go out and have fun. "Start living your life, there's no guarantee I'll be in it in the future." I was schocked. She said "do what YOU want." And I told her to guess what I wanted...And she guessed right...I just wanted her.
Then I left for the nite, didn't go to the club but decided to do some green with friends in their dorm. I was sad that I really was waiting for her, and she could tell and told me not to.

Then today when she IMs me she asked what I did and I said "I don't think you want to know." She then gets angry and I'm like "well you said I don't have to be bounded to you anymore." And she goes "you can still tell me though!" So I told her. And now, she's really angry. But what does she want. We're not together, I'm living my life, doing what I WANT to do. And still she'll get mad at me, and that's the last thing I want is us as best friends to be unhappy with each other.

I can't tell what she wants anymore. Ideas? Sorry for having such a long fucking post too.

03-11-2007, 02:31 PM	#32
freshnesschronic Professor Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 1,555	Update Again Well, we broke up. Specifically I broke up with her. During the fourth day of our break I IM'd her and we got to fighting (obviously) about the break and blah blah it evolved into me saying "don't you want to commit to me?" and she answering "no, I don't think I'm ready." That's more than enough information for me. A relationship is about commitment to your partner. She couldn't give it to me. As much as I love her and want to be with her I can't keep this relationship going with a pseudo-girlfriend. I had to break up. But in actuality, we broke up on very good terms. She was happy that I had become independent enough to break up with her. Yeah, I'm kinda dependent on her and clingy and she didn't want that. I guess that's the reason why we went on this break. And after that, WE WERE SO HAPPY! Like, we started chatting like it was October 2005 (the time period when we started to develop feelings for each other as friends). It was great, the rest of the nite and all of yesterday. We've defined ourselves as best friends . With benefits... We had agreed that we are very young (18 & 19) and we kinda rushed the feeling of love, but we eventually DID find true love in each other. And I left the door WIDE open for her to come back, I told her "if you just commit to me, we can get back together" because that's all I want from her. That's what I secretly want. But anyway....yesterday nite as I was debating to out to a club and dancing with other girls she told me I should go. We started playing around like me saying "what if I danced with a girl, or made out or had SEX!?" and she was like "well, good for you you're having fun, as long as you don't give me STDs." And I'm like What?! Then the conversation got more serious. She then started telling me I should stop waiting for her. Like I was gonna stay at home last nite and talk to her but she wanted me to go out and have fun. "Start living your life, there's no guarantee I'll be in it in the future." I was schocked. She said "do what YOU want." And I told her to guess what I wanted...And she guessed right...I just wanted her. Then I left for the nite, didn't go to the club but decided to do some green with friends in their dorm. I was sad that I really was waiting for her, and she could tell and told me not to. Then today when she IMs me she asked what I did and I said "I don't think you want to know." She then gets angry and I'm like "well you said I don't have to be bounded to you anymore." And she goes "you can still tell me though!" So I told her. And now, she's really angry. But what does she want. We're not together, I'm living my life, doing what I WANT to do. And still she'll get mad at me, and that's the last thing I want is us as best friends to be unhappy with each other. I can't tell what she wants anymore. Ideas? Sorry for having such a long fucking post too.