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While I agree about the too long first sentence, I'd just go with it--you know, be creative NOW and let the editors worry about that shite. Since you've got the bug, woo the bug, have dinner with the bug ('bug' here meaning 'muse') and then perhaps dance the tango with the bug. EDIT later. IMHO the bug only lasts so long while editing, well...editing is forever.
I like it, Ibby. It has a real Buffy the Vampire Slayer kind of vibe to it. Keep going!
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In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic.
"Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her.
—James Barrie
Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum
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