[juju]

Y'know, Griff, it's scary how close your description fits my life. Nearly every sentence you wrote fits me exactly. I feel like <b>I</b> wrote it.

Except for the part about the woman -- I had to get confidence and respect for myself before I had the guts to talk to a member of the opposite sex. I did have the whole mood separation thing, though. I would just get these spells every so often where this weird mood would come over me. I was sad -- but I liked it. It felt good. I would isolate myself during these times, not talk to anyone, and just be completely in bliss in my .. whatever it was. Very weird and hard to explain. It's almost like I knew that I had to be darkly depressed in order to be able to experience true joy later. Like one was feeding the other.

Now, I don't get depressed today, but that's <i>only</i> because of 15 years of dedicated mental, emotional, and philosophical foundation-building.


I know I'm straying off-topic here, but allow me to submit that it's <b>all</b> because of those fuckers in jr. high and high school.

Don't think a high percentage of the people you pick on will bring a gun to school and shoot you? What percentage do you think will shoot themselves? And what percentage do you think will hate themselves forever?

I asked my wife once what she thought of homeschooling (not that I'm for or against it -- we discuss all kinds of things). She stated that she thought that high school was essential for building social skills. She explained that being around all those people all the time teaches you how to deal with people and be sociable, and you just can't learn that at home.

What a crock! All high school does -- if you're in my class of personality -- is destroy your will to live and rape your self-respect. High school taught me to never speak to anyone. It was only after I got out that I learned to be sociable. She and I won't ever agree on this, of course. And I totally respect her views. Hell, I'm wrong half the time anyway. But I really don't get her position, because school was just as bad for her, yet she still thinks it taught her how to deal with people. Sure, but only if your view of humanity is very dark.