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This is going to cost me my job, my car, my home, my sanity, my ability to trust men in the future.
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Only if you let it. Get the fuck away from him... now... immediately. Don't talk to him, no calls, emails, texts, or anything else.
Understand one thing above all, neither he nor anyone else is going to fix it.
You're not exactly
blindsided here, so you have to take some responsibility for your predicament. Now you have the responsibility to get your shit together and salvage as much as you can, then move forward.
I wish you well and hope you can recover as quickly as possible. We'll be here for immoral support.