A handful of counseling sessions... Not actual progress, but more like an explanation of the brochure about the road to progress.
I thought, no, I distinctly remember seeing examples of actual progress this week. I got a couple of calls, inbound calls, about stuff. Important stuff, but the progress I felt was centered in the fact that I received the calls. W was connecting with me. Never mind the fact that the subject of the call was that our child, YS, was assaulted at school, and that we had to call the police and file a report.
Another call was about another child of ours, OS, progress in school, and the developments and changes that will mean in the fall. All good news, that call.
And even yesterday, there was another exchange that showed movement toward me. W would meet and YS at the park. Good news!
Again, this morning, when I said "Good morning" I got a reply. Don't mock. That's an improvement. But I read it wrong.
I found out that the bad day yesterday wasn't about work "I can't talk about it" but about us. Feeling *trapped*. Pressured. Cornered. There were lots of tears this morning. W had cried self to sleep. What a blockhead to misread so badly.
But the interactions have been nice. My bad. W says they're trapped by me because I know that W doesn't have the resources, $7000, to get the divorce, and that I should just file!!! Shouting at me. I don't want to file. I want to stay married.
I'm getting a little ahead of myself. I opened this thread and included this:
Quote:
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The pain of being unloved now exceeds the numbing and dumbing power of denial.
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At the beginning of the month, I reached this conclusion, my own personal tipping point.