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I have to say I'm kind of with Ibram on this. Domestic abuse is a very serious thing, but pushing someone and grabbing their arm, hard, is a long way from that. If you really feel like you are in danger of hurting her, then get help. If you are seriously worried about your ability to control your anger, then get help (apart from anything else, anger management can make life a lot more pleasant in many ways).
But don't give yourself too hard a time over this. You haven't punched her, or threatened her, or verbally demeaned her. Unless you really feel it as a potential danger, there is no need to assume that what you've described would turn into something more sinister.
God, I recall arguments between my ex and I, where he ended up punching the wall near my head, and I threw an ironing board at him. Neither of us would actually have hurt the other.
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