|
When I first made the break with my ex, I had a very long talk with a *metro* male friend of mine, who was shattered when his gf of 7 years up and left him without a backward glance.
My ex, was going through this hellish emotional roller coaster. He couldnt believe this was happening to him and that it was over, I couldnt believe he didnt see it coming....things had been bad for months.
He couldnt let go, wouldnt let go. He begged, black mailed, gave me ultimatums and threats. The more he pushed, the more reserved and pragmatic I got. I didnt want to fight for what we *had* and couldnt see a point, he just couldnt get that.
Anyways, I commented to my friend about this roller coaster and he said he had the same reaction.
We *decided* that it was just that us girls (in this instance) had reconciled with ourselves, boxed everything up emotionally and shut that door....before we had broken the news to our male partners. So essentially, we had it all tidied up and knew it was over before our partners knew what was about to hit them.
I've been on the other side of that fence, been chewed up, spat out and wondered where the fuck that came from?
Again, my bf at the time had worked through everything within himself and he was more than ready to move on, then he hit me with the "its over, I dont love you anymore".
The only time I have seen the line blurred was in a particularly volatile relationship (not physically, emotionally), where we would break up at the drop of a hat, and then one or both of us would do whatever necessary for us to get back together.
Your questions I cant answer and most of them probably dont have an answer at all.
All I can tell you is that time does heal and you need to go through what you are going through.
DONT look for *mistakes* that you made, my ex made none.
The future? no one can predict what will happen, but you will get through it, you have too many wonderful friends and support here not too.
Just take one day at a time luv, thats all you can do.
|