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Originally Posted by kgg
The advise I see is go after her Deuce. I could be wrong.
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Originally Posted by DanaC
What really? That is your advice? Are you sure about that? Against his lawyer's advice, contrary to the experience of the vast majority of divorcees, contrary to the evidence of where she is already at in this process?...
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I'm pretty sure that what kgg meant was that the advice she sees
being given by others here is to "go after her," meaning "attack her before she attacks you." Not to try to reconcile with her.
But the problem is, fairness is only applicable when you know both parties. It would be nice if Deuce could step back from the recent events and say, "Oh well, let's try to make the best of a bad situation," but he has already indicated he's not in an emotional position to do that. Terms of the divorce aside, he has to stop being vulnerable before he can begin to appropriately react in any way. Part of that means severing the emotional ties with his wife. If that means demonizing her a bit before he can successfully move back to center, then that's what it means. 'I'll let you two work it out on your own, I hope all the best for you' is lukewarm at best, not really support at all. It is what he will receive from all his family and friends who do know the both of them. Sometimes people need stronger encouragement than that to get
past things, before they can view them with a better, healthier perspective.