[Stormieweather]

Often...abusive, manipulative, lying, no-good asses can be quite charming and personable when they want to. And they usually want to when trying to con someone into bed and/or marriage. I've known people to carry the facade for several years, if that's what it takes.

An insecure person, with low boundaries and low self esteem can easily fall for such nonsense because they buy into the bullshit. They excuse the glaring faults (lack of stability, anger issues, over controlling, deceptions) by saying they're not perfect either or by believing they are "the one" who will finally change this irresponsible, bad boy/girl into a good person. They find out it's never going to happen when they're good and trapped...maybe married (for better or worse), baby on the way or there, cut off from all sources of support and what little self esteem they had, completely demolished.

I strenously object to the generalization that any woman who gets pregnant unexpectedly is a slut, a party animal, or knew right up front that the person she was with was (or could be) an asshole.

I've also found that some of the seemingly nicest people can turn into completely amoral, vindictive, and cruel individuals, given the right trigger. You just never know until you're on the opposing side in a battle.