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I have a family member who claims not to be racist, but insists on using terms like 'nigger' and 'coon' and 'porch monkey' in front of my daughter.
At one point when she was 4 years old, she told me she didn't like brown or dark brown skin color - it was ugly and dirty and she just didn't like it. After a lengthy discussion, followed by me pointing out my dark Native American skin in comparison with her fair, freckled Welsh skin, I told her she must not like me and she must think I'm dirty and ugly because of my skin color. She saw the light and wept.
Granted, my situation does not involve a violent criminal act, but we do have to contend, virtually on a daily basis, with said family member who is very very close to my daughter, and who continually uses slurs in front of her. It was so sad to see her go from describing the little boy she played with in preschool as "the tall boy who shares nicely, the one with the brown skin", to "the black boy".
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