[Sundae]

Ah. Ahem.

I got mad at him because he got mad at me for not going to Water Workout. Because I genuinely had a troubled stomach.

I confronted him when he came back (from yoga), trying - honestly! - to sort it out without festering. He kept his back to me during the conversation, which riled me ("I'm cleaning the sink!" yeah first time in 3 months...)

I eventually got him to admit he did have "a slight issue" with the fact I'd sampled food during my visit to the supermarket to get cat litter ("Well you must have been feeling better then" was the comment that kicked it all off). In my burned-skin-sensitivity his admission meant he'd been lying to me when he said originally the probelm was all in my head not his.

So it ended up with SG going out & getting drunk (paying only for 1 pint) and being walked home by a stranger.

I came to Mum & Dad's because I couldn't handle 1) my anger, 2) my hurt, 3) my guilt. All my fault.

Oh and I stood on the patio table this morning, trying to get Diz down from the roof of the kitchen. It collapsed. I am bruised to buggery - which serves me right - but it adds to the guilt. I know he wanted to replace it, and he was the one who told me to let the cats out the skylight ("it's not a high roof") but I feel like a shit.

That's the real reason I'm unhappy. I'm trying, but I'm still a mess and have given my oldest friend good reason to throw me out. And I miss the boys on top of that!