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*laughs* I know. Politics is a very, dirty business. There are times I enjoy that side of it...and times I really don't.
The other thing that's upsetting me is the whole being-in-love-with-one-of-my-best-friends thing. Most of the time I get by just fine and enjoy his company and that's great. Sometimes though it creeps up on me and I just feel totally fucking awful. Spent half of last night crying. I know, from tentative forays in conversation, that he is totally not interested in being involved with anybody, despite the fact he is attracted to me (I'm pretty sure he is, and so is our mutual friend). It's just such a waste, we'd be great together. I know it, the two people who know us both and know how I feel, know it. But I can't say anything explicitly about it because of how he feels about getting involved again. Don't want to make him uncomfortable around me ya know?
I keep thinking, maybe at some point the time will be right and he'll see what's in frnt of him...or maybe I'm kidding mysef and I ain't really his type. But...I dunno, there's definately a strong connection between us.
Like I say, most of the time I just shove that shit to the back of my mind and get on with being his friend, but every so often it breaks my heart and right now it feels like a physical ache.
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