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Yeah, that's maybe part of it -- sex is at once utterly selfish and utterly giving, isn't it? You can give the utter pleasure to your mate, but you can't share the orgasm, and vice-versa. So it's utterly dominating and utterly submissive, all the time. But not a bad kind of domination/submission...
The bits you don't share with your partner become your partner's fantasy. I remember a real-life story where a guy fell in love with a woman who was OCD about counting - you know how some people get hung up on numbers? I don't remember the exact details, but the woman was a serial counter, who would count her steps to the bus station every day, count the bricks on the wall, form relationships with numbers. One day the guy figured out that, every time she gave him a handjob, she gave him 22 strokes with the right hand, and then 22 strokes with the left hand, etc. For months it went on like that.
And what became his fantasy... what drove him utterly crazy... was the dream... the hope... the longing... that one day she would go 23 on him.
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