Comma and semi-colon. It's very important that your first line be powerful, and painstakingly correct.
It's been a long time since I have been an editor. So, I cannot be relied on. It is my first gut reaction, however. No hitches in the first line!!! It's a great opening if carried off properly.
Humble opinion from the peanut gallery.
I was fighting the impulse to edit it myself, so I only read the first line. Ibram, you are such a good kid, and I don't even think you know it.