[Sundae]

I think I may have to stop going to the gym at weekends. It just means a bit more planning so that I am still doing the same number of sessions, just doing them on weekdays.

Every time I gp on a Saturday or Sunday I come out very unhappy with myself. It's solely because the people who use the gym at weekends are a very different crowd and I feel I am so far behind them in terms of fitness and appearance that I start to question my progress over the last 4 months.

I know it is pointless to compare yourself to anyone else. I know I have been following an officially set programme and am therefore doing what is right for my body. I know the weight will come off gradually and I am fitter than when I started. HM used these points to try and cheer me up when I told him how I felt.

But somehow it doesn't change my feelings. I am at least 2 sizes larger than the next fattest person there, and that will be only one person. On average I about 4 sizes larger than the other female attendees. I am the only person working at my speed on any of the CV machines, everyone else is much faster whether it's jogging on the treadmill (I only walk), or using the stepper, cross trainer, bike etc. Even on the floor I am doing such basic things compared to the exercises other people are doing.

I know it will change with time. I know I have made a good start. I also know that for the last three weeks I've walked out of there hating myself and I think a better use of my time would be having a pampering day and working on loving myself more.

If anyone can offer a mental exercise which will help derail my negative train of thought on these occasions I would realyl appreciate it. I'll try anything suggested before resigning myself to avoidance!