[Aliantha]

Do you have somewhere to stay till there's a settlement Lush? Have you spoken to a solicitor? It's possible that if you're going to have custody of the kids, you will get to keep the house. Also, are you aware that if you leave with the kids, the onus is on him to sue you for visitation rights or custody etc? When you've left him, don't let him even so much as take the kids to McDonalds unless you really believe he's going to bring them back to you (and even then I wouldn't), otherwise you'll have to go through the expense and trouble of sueing him to get them back. In Australia, unless there's a formal custody arrangement, the person who has the children in their care is deemed to be the parent with custody. You should also notify their school that they're not to leave with him. The school is then obliged to follow your instructions until notified otherwise by a court order.

Unless you had a prenup there's no reason why you wont get half of everything even if you have not worked the whole time you've been married...maybe more if you're awarded custody of the kids, if he chooses to challenge that.

Good luck with it all. If it's the right thing for you to do, then don't give in...and don't let him talk you around to staying.

Can I just clarify...your husband is a cop and you're leaving him because of domestic violence? Are his coworkers aware of the situation? If not and no one else much knows, things are likely to go very much in your favour when it comes to settling the dispute and organizing custody of the kids.