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Homosexuality was considered a mental disorder in DSM-II ... but was taken out in the DSM-III revision.
What IS a diagnosable disorder (although I don't know if there's a formal name for it and I'm too damn tired to bother to look it up) would be when an individual is SO discomforted by their sexual orientation that it causes significant problems in their ability to function.
I voted "lawyer" in the poll, but would have voted "shrink" or "marriage counsellor" if those choices had been available.
There are likely more issues in the marriage than are described here. Getting a third-party negotiator can help majorly in figuring out where to go from here ... find some compromise and stay together, or start taking the steps that will lead to the eventual dissolution of the marriage.
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