Quote:
Originally posted by wolf
When it all comes down to it, isn't that a lot of what counts?
I'm heartened to hear from someone who, based on this brief contact, seems to regard marriage not as something that is disposable, but as something that should be, and deserves to be, worked on.
|
Wolf makes a good point here. You have to decide what is important to you in a marriage.
However, the sooner you accept one single fact, the sooner you can get yourself out of your problem:
your husband will never lust after you. No amount of counselling, religious or otherwise, will change that. It's not that he isn't "trying hard enough".
It's also important to realize that his lack of lust isn't your fault. Don't blame yourself. We cannot choose whom we lust after. We can't choose what gets us going. And I think deep down, you must agree with that. Think of whatever it is that turns you on, whether it's big hulky men, guys in tidy whities, whatever. Do you think you could change that, if you could just try hard enough? Of course not.
Now, it's time to decide what's important to you in a marriage. Some people can live without their partner lusting after them. Some people can live without their lust ever being fulfilled. Some can't. It all depends which category you fall into.
A counselor may help each of you decide what it is that you want, and what you're willing to give up to get it. But they won't be able to un-gay your husband.