[june]

No Mcken, I don't feel compeled to do that “something else”- it's entirely my choice - if i could only make it.

I am not so sure if I understand what you mean by “se” but I know that while I clearly wanted to do that something else, I just don’t have the ability to do it …. yes, I am struggled and I know that I should stop dreaming it.

I don’t feel that insecure to describe the detail of the field that I left behind, but the alternative to the shattered dream I am thinking of entering now might …

For now, since I must pay the bills, it’s only make sense to just keep doing the thing that I have to do, but …. it doesn’t make me feel “ok” at all …. you know.

The article “power of failure” and the “esoteric agenda” are very interesting, thank you Mcken. And thanks also for these: "do you feel compelled to do that "something else" no matter the sacrifice? Is that "se" something that you struggle with or that comes out of the clear blue sky into your brain? Do you feel insecure when you describe the details of that "se", or do you get a clear picture of what you're trying to communicate?"