we had a whole thread about the knife and fork etiquette:
http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=1...ght=knife+fork
For me, I was always told that elbows on the table were okay
after you've finished. don't know why.
The one that gets me is the napkin. Put the napkin in your lap and use it to wipe your mouth. Not your hand, or your shirt, but the napkin. Is that so hard?
Merc, not sure my upbringing was too similar, but we had very formal meals always. My dad was a proper Southern gentlemen. We ate with sterling silver utensils, properly set out with a full place setting (no matter what we were eating) and cloth napkins at every meal. Later in life my mother persuaded dad that paper napkins were okay at lunch.
We never had any kind of informal meals like spaghetti or tacos for dinner. It was always meat, starch/vegetables, salad, bread and butter. And I had to eat every bite, or I'd get the Victory Garden story.
ETA: In my entire adult life, I don't think I've ever had a dining room table. And the silver is sitting in a closet. somewhere.