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moscarda · 10-02-2008, 04:40 PM

i think its better told like this:

knock knock
who's there?
world trade center
wtc who?
i thought you said you'd never forget?

----
what's the difference between george bush and a bucket of shit?
the bucket.

----
why is divorce so expensive?
because it's worth it.

----
what did one gerbil say to the other gerbil?
lets go to the gay bar and get shit-faced.

----
what's brown and sticky?
a stick.

----
how do you starve a *insert ethnic slur* person?
hide his foodstamps in his work boots.

----
what is long, hard, and full of se(a)men?
a submarine.

----
did you hear about the mathematician with constipation?
he worked it out with a pencil

----
did you hear about the sky-diving blind guy?
scared the hell out of the dog.

----
a guy on vacation sees a crippled girl crying at the beach. he asks her what's wrong. she says she's never been hugged. so he gives her a hug and she stops crying. the next day he sees her crying again, cause she has never been kissed. he kisses her and she cheers up. the following day, he sees her more sad than ever. she says she's never been fucked. so he throws her in the ocean and says now you're fucked!

---
three guys stranded on a desert island find a genie in a bottle who grants them each a wish. the first wishes to be back home, and *poof* he disappears. the second wishes to be far away in paradise, and *poof* off he goes. the third guy says "i'm lonely, i wish my friends were back here."

----
three kids come down for breakfast. their mom asks the oldest "what would you like for breakfast?" to which he responds "make me some fuckin pancakes!" appalled at his language, the mother sends him to his room without food. "what would YOU like for breakfast?" she asks the second child. "more fuckin pancakes for me!" he exclaims, only to be sent to his room as well. "well sweetie" the mother says to the youngest, "what would you like?" the kid says "i dunno mom, but i definitely don't want any fuckin pancakes!"

----
so i go to the shrink. he says "you're crazy!" i tell him i'm gonna need to get a second opinion. so he says "okay, you're ugly too!"

10-02-2008, 04:40 PM	#335
moscarda Kinda New Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 1	i think its better told like this: knock knock who's there? world trade center wtc who? i thought you said you'd never forget? ---- what's the difference between george bush and a bucket of shit? the bucket. ---- why is divorce so expensive? because it's worth it. ---- what did one gerbil say to the other gerbil? lets go to the gay bar and get shit-faced. ---- what's brown and sticky? a stick. ---- how do you starve a insert ethnic slur person? hide his foodstamps in his work boots. ---- what is long, hard, and full of se(a)men? a submarine. ---- did you hear about the mathematician with constipation? he worked it out with a pencil ---- did you hear about the sky-diving blind guy? scared the hell out of the dog. ---- a guy on vacation sees a crippled girl crying at the beach. he asks her what's wrong. she says she's never been hugged. so he gives her a hug and she stops crying. the next day he sees her crying again, cause she has never been kissed. he kisses her and she cheers up. the following day, he sees her more sad than ever. she says she's never been fucked. so he throws her in the ocean and says now you're fucked! --- three guys stranded on a desert island find a genie in a bottle who grants them each a wish. the first wishes to be back home, and poof he disappears. the second wishes to be far away in paradise, and poof off he goes. the third guy says "i'm lonely, i wish my friends were back here." ---- three kids come down for breakfast. their mom asks the oldest "what would you like for breakfast?" to which he responds "make me some fuckin pancakes!" appalled at his language, the mother sends him to his room without food. "what would YOU like for breakfast?" she asks the second child. "more fuckin pancakes for me!" he exclaims, only to be sent to his room as well. "well sweetie" the mother says to the youngest, "what would you like?" the kid says "i dunno mom, but i definitely don't want any fuckin pancakes!" ---- so i go to the shrink. he says "you're crazy!" i tell him i'm gonna need to get a second opinion. so he says "okay, you're ugly too!"