My mom isn't crazy, just lazy. Not involved in my life really, or my daughters unfortunately. If I don't call and essentially beg her to come down to see her granddaughter, I don't think she ever would. We just really have
never been that close, and after my dad died, it actually got worse.
My in laws are actually really great. They even hosted my college graduation party when I got my bachelor's, and Red and I were only just dating. They have been more like the parents I wished I had. Red has a far better relationship with his family than I do with mine. My MIL doesn't butt in or spout off (at least to me) about my parenting, or my housekeeping, or my career. If I ask her opinion or advice, I can usually count on pretty solid info, or a flat out "you've got to figure it out on your own." She uses the silent treatment though when she is pissed off, so actually no news might not always be good news if YKWIM.
I'm not just saying this because Red might read it either. We have had multiple discussions about what I don't like about my mom, and how I can not turn into her
(too badly anyway)