[Aliantha]

Treas...aside from my advice about what really happens in Australia, I think maybe it's pertinent to share something with you about me.

Not long after I first split with my boys father, I became entangled in an online relationship with a man from Washington State. He told me all sorts of sad stories about his life and because I felt pretty down trodden with my own life at the time, I thought we really had something in common. Anyway, he came over here the first time. He was supposed to stay for three months, but we had a fight, and I have to tell you that at the time, I thought he was going to beat the crap out of me. He didn't though, so that was lucky. I asked him to leave and so he went back home. After he got there he was all soppy an apologetic and said how he was just stressed being in another country and all blah blah blah, so I forgave him and he came again to Australia. The second time I said only to come for a few weeks. That was a year later. I'd become stronger and was happier in my life, and when he got off the plane, I just knew he wasn't the one for me at all. He went home and we never really talked much after that. Now he's married to someone else. I hope he's happy. He never would have been with me, nor I with him.

All I really want to illustrate with this story is how wrong you can be about someone online. How it's so easy to cover up little flaws, even if you mostly webcam chat etc. Even if you think the other person is very empathetic. Even if you think they're the best person you've ever had to talk to in your life. I thought all those things about the man I met.

I was dead wrong. I couldn't have been wronger in fact.

I will add finally that I did meet my husband now on an online site. It was slightly different though. It was a...ummm...swingers site and neither of us was actually looking for a relationship at the time. Just a bit of fun.

That particular bit of fun didn't turn out the way I expected it to either. lol But the ending so far has been much happier, and I know it's going to stay that way.

So, I'm not saying you can't have a meaningful relationship with someone online, but just be careful. There's a whole lot of distance both physically and culturally between Australians and Americans (in a lot of ways) and both countries have their fair share of wankers who you wouldn't want to be involved with anyway.

About the green card thing you were wondering about. I doubt that'd be it. There's not that many average Australians who feel they'd have it better in the US than they have it here. The lowest minimum wage for an adult here is about $12, with most people earning above award after a certain period of time doing their job right.

I hope this helps. I really don't know you from a bar of soap either, so for all I (and the rest of us) know, maybe your story is full of holes too, but I think we all just try to tell things from our own perspective and particular range of experience.

I can tell you for myself that I'd never even think about getting involved with your fellow, even though I live in the same country, let alone a country thousands of miles away.