Clodfobble: You do raise a good point. However, I was "into" the D/s scene long before I was married, and long before I mixed S/m into it. I KNOW what "good" domination is... and I KNOW when it crosses the line into non-consent. The minute domination or sadism crosses that line, it becomes abuse. I am aware that the path I have chosen for my life puts me at risk of running into many dangerous (or just plain stupid) people. However, I have had enough experience and enough learning to know what to look for in a Dom/me. Unfortunately, there are those people out there who are so good at deception, they fool everyone around them, until they have the person they want under their control; then the gloves come off. That's basically what happened with my husband. He came across to everyone, even his family, as a great person, a wonderful man. But then, he got hold of me, and as soon as he had my trust and a child with me, which he expected would force me to stay with him, off came the gloves, and our play crossed the line into non-consensual abuse. Does this answer your question?
SG: apology accepted. No worries. And yes, speaking to you and everyone on the board is helping me sit down and think about what I do and why I do it... why I enjoy it, what my motivation is, and so on. So thank you
You are free to get as personal as you wish, honey.
Razz: A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck can chuck. It's that simple.
Big Sarge: My boyfriend says the same thing...
DanaC: thank you for hitting the nail on the head much more eloquently than I can. Me and the English, we don't get along so great...
xoB: You're right. Cutting is NEVER safe. However, when done properly, and followed up with the proper aftercare, it can be a lot less dangerous. Masters of this technique study long and hard, and practice for years on dead flesh before ever taking a blade of ANY kind to living flesh. My Sir, for instance, has not had that training, and I would not let him near me with a knife unless my life depended on it. My Sir back in New York, on the other hand, nearly a decade ago... he DID have the training. He knew what he was about. And trust me when I say it was exquisite.
With the right Sir, one whom the submissive trusts and knows and has a good relationship and rapport with, the submissive can enter a mental space called commonly "subspace". If any of you have ever tranced or been hypnotized... or been in subspace yourselves... you know something of what I'm talking about. It's peaceful... quiet... nothing exists except you and your Dom/me. The outside world ceases for you while you are in that space. All your daily worries and concerns are just... gone, for a while. It's amazing. Add to that the delightful aftercare the submissive receives after a good scene, and the delicious ache of muscles for the next day or two afterwards, and you may have the beginning of an inkling of why I identify as being part of the s/m crowd. The D/s crowd, on the other hand... I'll save that for another post, another day.