[limey]

Originally Posted by limey

Doesn't that "didn't want to be a bother" thing SUCK??
Please remember folks - your friends and family want to know, want to help, want to show they care.
Sending healing vibes via you to her.

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

Sure, it's human nature, but that doesn't mean the person has to like being the recipient of pity or special treatment, even if it's what you want to give them. It's also human nature to avoid situations that make us uncomfortable. I'm just saying, if you have a friend or family member who routinely avoids telling people about their personal struggles, then when you do find out about it, the appropriate response is to give them a hug, and change the subject in a timely manner. Later you can bring them flowers or food or whatever you want, just do it in a discreet and matter-of-fact way: "we're helping you because that's what people do for each other, and it's no big deal," rather than "your life is obviously really, really terrible right now, so you deserve some stuff."

Point taken. "Show you care" should suit the recipient more than the giver.