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03-31-2009, 07:07 PM

Dana, I'm sorry if this comes off as harsh, but seriously, glib armchair psychologist advice usually assumes that the person it's being given to is doing something "wrong". I have a therapist. A good one.

If you believe you have some profound insights into recovering from divorce or heartbreak, by all means, offer them up. However, "stop" is patently ridiculous, condescending, and ignorant. There is no way to soften that up with a disclaimer about not meaning to sound cold and callous. It just makes you sound sheltered. I'm sure you have your own experiences to draw from, but seriously... "stop"? Did you really think about that one?

People have to grieve the loss of important relationships. It's a normal part of the process. It's hard, and it sucks, but people don't get through the grieving process by walling off the hurt.

If, six months after the end of our relationship and two months after the end of our friendship, I run into him and it makes me feel an emotional wreck, but the rest of the time I am a fully functional mother, friend, businesswoman, and homeowner, I think I'm not doing half badly in my process of getting over it.

I still love him. If I could just "stop", what kind of monster would I be?

03-31-2009, 07:07 PM	#3564
Tiki Guest Posts: n/a	Dana, I'm sorry if this comes off as harsh, but seriously, glib armchair psychologist advice usually assumes that the person it's being given to is doing something "wrong". I have a therapist. A good one. If you believe you have some profound insights into recovering from divorce or heartbreak, by all means, offer them up. However, "stop" is patently ridiculous, condescending, and ignorant. There is no way to soften that up with a disclaimer about not meaning to sound cold and callous. It just makes you sound sheltered. I'm sure you have your own experiences to draw from, but seriously... "stop"? Did you really think about that one? People have to grieve the loss of important relationships. It's a normal part of the process. It's hard, and it sucks, but people don't get through the grieving process by walling off the hurt. If, six months after the end of our relationship and two months after the end of our friendship, I run into him and it makes me feel an emotional wreck, but the rest of the time I am a fully functional mother, friend, businesswoman, and homeowner, I think I'm not doing half badly in my process of getting over it. I still love him. If I could just "stop", what kind of monster would I be?