[Sundae]

Sadly, I think part of me is feeling this low because they are away. I don't have the same pressures, therefore I dwell on things more. Mum is trying to push me to run before I can walk though. She's mentioned volunteering at least once a day, every day this week (we talk on the phone even when she's away).

She was only here for about 7 minutes this morning and still managed to ask whether I;d gone to the Volunteer Agency yesterday. No Mum, yesterday I wanted to either get ridiculously drunk, or die, or both. I will have to go of course. Partly because she will wear me down, partly because I know it's a step back to normality. I'll talk to my CPN first though.

Monster I know I should have gone to Oasis sooner, but it all seems so pointless. It's just a chat, I'm still on the waiting list for actual sessions. And I have the same chat with my Doctor every week, and my CPN (although she's on holiday right now). It's just telling another person how miserable I feel and it gets me down. None of the people I speak to at present are able to offer a solution, something to work on or anything steps I can take to help resolve the situation.

Sorry, it's all going to be negative from me in this mood.
Maybe I'll pick up a bit this afternoon.

I'll go to the Volunteer Bureau tomorrow, so what't available at least. It's a walk into town, so it will occupy me and get me out of the house.