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Originally Posted by disenchanted
Tiki: I completely understand that proposing doesn't solve problems. I get that. As I said, I thought we'd turned a corner. It seems that I was wrong that things were better.
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That's the other aspect I was referring to; the "right after a rough patch" part. If it's getting better, you have to give the "better" a chance to settle in and get comfortable... months or seasons, not weeks.
Again, I'm speaking from my own experience and others may have very different experiences, but a proposal is very heavy and a lot of pressure to drop on a girl who just told you she wanted more time.
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Marriage had been talked about quite a bit, and last weekend she said she didn't want to go on this trip...until I said "Ok, let's take the pressure off and just have a fun weekend then."
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It sounds, from your description, like she was going to back out, agreed to go anyway because you promised her a no-pressure, fun weekend, and then you ambushed her with a proposal. That may not be how she perceived it, but that's the impression I got from the way you described it.
If you do end up getting back together with her, can I recommend listening and paying more attention to her cues, and not pushing things forward against her wishes because of your own restlessness/eagerness for progress?
I am not trying to make you feel bad, I am trying to shed some perspective on what may have gone wrong and how you can prevent it from going worse, if you do continue seeing this woman.
I hope things work out for you.