Quote:
Originally Posted by disenchanted
The additional dialogue was that she said I'd betrayed her for not giving her more time. That I'd gone back on my word that it was going to be a no-pressure weekend.
I took her literally when she said "I want to be surprised." I figured that meant it was ok from there on out.
Personally, and I'm sure there will be those disagree, I don't think I betrayed her. In my mind, betrayal suggests malice (or at least forthought.) I, on the other hand, am incompetent.
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Speaking solely for myself, I would also have felt betrayed. Not because your intention was malicious, but because you did not respect the specific request for no pressure. A proposal is as high-pressure as you can go in that context.
Why did you take her at her word that she wanted to be surprised - a vague statement - but not take her at her word that she wanted a no-pressure weekend - a specific statement? Especially since
she almost didn't go and was convinced to by your promise to make it a no-pressure weekend? You lured her into a trip she didn't want to take with a promise you had no intention of keeping.
If I were put in that position, I would feel that it was because you were placing your desires ahead of respect for me, and I would almost certainly have reacted the same way... accepted the engagement under the pressure of the moment, especially because of being a captive audience without the ability to just walk away from conflict and go home if it blew up into an emotional scene.
You put her in a very, very uncomfortable, awkward position, to be quite honest, even though she asked you not to. What was she to do? Turn you down and then... what? She could have no idea how you would react to rejection (unless she does have an idea - only you know) and she was trapped with you away from home. I suppose she could have packed her bags and found transportation somehow, depending on how far from a town you were. Safer to just say yes and play along until she's home, then break it off.
Cowardly? Maybe so. But as a woman, sometimes being a coward is a safer bet.