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I'm just trying to explain that I can see how she would feel misled and betrayed. I don't think he consciously intended to mislead or betray her, I just think that maybe he was so focused on what he wanted that he (unconsciously) chose to interpret her statement about wanting to be surprised in a way that was favorable to what his intentions were.
I wasn't there for the conversation, so, again, I'm only basing it on what he has told us, and my advice is still that I think he could benefit from really examining what his thought processes were when he decided to go ahead with proposing in the face of what seems (to me) like a clear red light, in order to understand why and how he might deal better with a relationship with her or any other woman in the future.
Maybe, knowing what he knows about her and their relationship, to him "Don't tell me about it, don't ask me about it" is a clear green light. I wouldn't interpret it that way, but again, I'm not in that relationship and only have the small amount of context that he has posted.
As I have said as many times as possible, I am posting based on what my reactions, feelings, and thoughts would be if I were in a similar situation. Maybe it can provide some insight about why she is reacting the way she is, or maybe not. Take it as you will
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