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Whit · 10-04-2003, 12:43 AM

      Being there for the kids is natural to me. Kids and I are just drawn to each other. Random children see me as a really cool jungle jim, and truthfully I really like throwing a kid around a bit. I've been accused of being a really big kid on many occasions.
      With my own kids I'm worse than a mind reader. The boy once said something about not understanding why people use so much foul language, I laughed and said, "Like you, on the playground, with your friends when the teachers not around?" His whole body went rigid, and I could see the panic in his eyes. The not knowing how I knew. Like I was never a ten year old boy...

      As for his mom, I'll help if she ever wishes me to, as I have in the past. It's one of those horribly complex adult things. The better she feels about herself, the more she tends to want to spend time around me. The lower her self-esteem, the more spiteful she is and she tends to talk badly of me when I'm not around. The really nasty catch is, if she spends to much time around me she tends to start feeling bad about herself again, and I don't know why. I have a few theories but that's all they are. Of course, if I refuse to spend time around her then it's a serious blow to her self-esteem. Pitfalls all around.
      I'm quite glad that she's engaged as it gives me a reason to not be around without context. I don't know how it'll work out in the long run though. Also, the boy is going to go to war with this guy when he starts coming around more, or eventually moves in.
      So it's all screwed up, from the adult side it's good for me. Gives me a break from a really weird relationship. From the kid side it really sucks. Unhappy kids isn't something I'm willing to accept. Just to put the bow on this Gordian knot, I believe that as a result of the fight the boy will eventually put up he'll wind up living with me, unofficially of course. Which I want, but will probably leave him with a slew of abandonment issues.

      Gah, I wish I was young enough to not be expected to understand any of this...
      Thanks for the chance to vent.

10-04-2003, 12:43 AM	#2
Whit Umm ... yeah. Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Arkansas, USA Posts: 949	Being there for the kids is natural to me. Kids and I are just drawn to each other. Random children see me as a really cool jungle jim, and truthfully I really like throwing a kid around a bit. I've been accused of being a really big kid on many occasions.       With my own kids I'm worse than a mind reader. The boy once said something about not understanding why people use so much foul language, I laughed and said, "Like you, on the playground, with your friends when the teachers not around?" His whole body went rigid, and I could see the panic in his eyes. The not knowing how I knew. Like I was never a ten year old boy...       As for his mom, I'll help if she ever wishes me to, as I have in the past. It's one of those horribly complex adult things. The better she feels about herself, the more she tends to want to spend time around me. The lower her self-esteem, the more spiteful she is and she tends to talk badly of me when I'm not around. The really nasty catch is, if she spends to much time around me she tends to start feeling bad about herself again, and I don't know why. I have a few theories but that's all they are. Of course, if I refuse to spend time around her then it's a serious blow to her self-esteem. Pitfalls all around.       I'm quite glad that she's engaged as it gives me a reason to not be around without context. I don't know how it'll work out in the long run though. Also, the boy is going to go to war with this guy when he starts coming around more, or eventually moves in.       So it's all screwed up, from the adult side it's good for me. Gives me a break from a really weird relationship. From the kid side it really sucks. Unhappy kids isn't something I'm willing to accept. Just to put the bow on this Gordian knot, I believe that as a result of the fight the boy will eventually put up he'll wind up living with me, unofficially of course. Which I want, but will probably leave him with a slew of abandonment issues.       Gah, I wish I was young enough to not be expected to understand any of this...       Thanks for the chance to vent. __________________ A friend will help you move. A true friend will help you move a body.