[Sundae]

In my post-series 3 mourning, I found this.
Just cos I'm not drinking, doesn't mean drinking games don't make me laugh.

In fact the only time I've really played one was an Only Fools & Horses Christmas Special - and we made that up ourselves. We were drinking real Jamaican rum - at a ridiculous proof rate- and it took Rob most of the night to get home. He lived approx half a mile away (on foot I should add!)

Oh, should say - this one is from here

The Torchwood Drinking Game
Take one drink when
- There is a swooping aerial shot of Cardiff from a helicopter.
- Someone delivers or orders a pizza.
- A main character says “snog” or “snogging”
- A main character says “shag” or “shagging”
- A hetrosexual snogging occurs
- Someone says “special ops”
- You can read “Torchwood” on the side of the “top secret” Torchwood mobile.
- Rhys Williams phones Gwen, or is used for comedic relief.
- Tosh gives Owen a knowing look
- Gwen gives Jack a knowing look
- Owen gives Gwen a knowing look
- Jack gives Ianto a knowing look (can be substitued for an ‘evil’ if knowing looks are not going spare)
- Ianto looks guilty or vulnerable for no apparent reason.
- Owen wears his white coat.
- Tosh says/does something that makes her look really uncool and then tries to act normal.
- Some unsuspecting soon-to-be victim does something really stupid (generally near the beginning of the episode).
- We see a scene featuring the Torchwood crew chilling together in the bat-cave.
- Gwen starts worrying about her (now SHAM) relationship with Rhys.

Take two drinks when
- Jack comes back to life
- Lesbian/gay snogging occurs
- Hetrosexual snogging occurs between two main characters
- Hetrosexual shagging occurs
- Myfanwy the pterodactyl appears (exclude during titles)
- Anyone takes an alien artifact home without permission
- Tosh has a good day
- Whole team wears sunglasses outside on a grey day
- There is a shoe-horned Americana reference to a) CSI, b) Basketball/Baseball in order to cater to BBC America etc to cater for potential American Network deals
- There is a shoe-horned stereotypical Welsh reference, eg: Millennium Stadium, anything in Welsh, rugby, to take full advantage of Cardiff potentially being marketed over in America.
- Someone/ anyone says something/ anything derogatory about London.
- Someone brandishes an impressive weapon (Owen’s not included!) with a torch.

Take three drinks when
- There is a swooping aerial shot of Jack (or other cast member) astride a Cardiff landmark.
- A Torchwood member betrays the trust of the rest of the team
- Lesbian/gay shagging occurs
- Lesbian/gay snogging between two main characters occurs
- Hetrosexual shagging between two main characters occurs
- There is a cover up for the murder/death of a member of the public
- Anyone refers to sex without resorting to euphemisms like “snogging” and “shagging”. NB: F-words don’t count.
- The CGI utterly lets you down
- There is no CGI in the episode
- Subtle “Who” reference is used knowingly (Can also be interpreted as knowing look between RTD and the Whovians tuning in). Clunking great lady-cybers do not class as subtle.
- Someone brandishes an impressive weapon (Owen’s not included!) in a montage.
- During any montage.

Take four drinks
- Lesbian/gay shagging between two main characters occurs
- A main character get stabbed, shot or otherwise seriously injured or mutilated.
- A dismembered body part appears on screen
- There is a direct reference to Doctor Who

Drink the entire bottle when
- The main characters leave earth
- The Doctor, the TARDIS or genuine companion appear in the episode (not just a body part) [Series one only]
- An episode ends with no sexual references at all
- The Torchwood Blimp takes its inaugural flight
- Weevil gives Jack a knowing look
- Little man from office in Glasgow pops in and after thirty minutes learns the art of the knowing look and leaves to go and grow his own little nest of iniquity in the windy Scottish highlands.
- A homosexual snog occurs under no alien influence whatsoever [again, series one only!]
- Harkness says “What?” in response to his co-workers’ incomprehensible Welsh accents.
- Gwen shoots herself in the behind while reholstering her unfamiliar weapon.
- The pterodactyl poops on someone’s head.
- The severed hand [risen mitten I assume] crawls into someone’s pants with the intention of committing an obscene act.
- A member of the Royal Family guest stars as a werewolf.
- Harkness shags a sheep.
- We see someone’s bare bottom (be honest – it’s only a matter of time). [I think we saw Rhys's in series one to be honest! This may be an American list, I think it was cut there]
- Someone says “Torchwood? Who on earth are they? I’ve never heard of them. They must be ultra-secret.”

Throw up when
- Gwen/Owen snog, shag or even think about it.

Drink the entire case when
- Jack shags the Weevil

It's not perfect, but parts of it made me smile.
I think the dig about Americanisms could only have been made by an American (bear with me) because these shows are very popular in the UK and are often referenced in normal conversation. My parents for example, watch all three CSIs and will mwention them occasionally in day-to-day conversations. And my bro loves American sport.