Oh I am such a cliche
Yes.......... single, overweight, older woman.
I would be a vampire.
It would slim me down. Sex me up. Make me irresistable. Let me stay up all night. Give me an excuse to dress in black - and lace and all that. And kill my Mum if'n she didn't approve. The last was a joke
(kinda)
I'll think of some others later I'm sure (after other people have inspired me - heh heh). But that'll do for nowski.