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Dar that's terrible for you, I'm so sorry.
From my friends who were student nurses, people die more commonly alone than in the company of family. It's not the family's fault for leaving them alone, it's a built-in reflex to die quietly and alone.
I have no idea if this is true, but it feels right at least.
My thoughts are with you, and all I can advise is acceot every feeling as it comes. There is no real schedule for grief. If it feels right for you, it is right.
Love given x
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Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac
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