[BrianR]

From: Internal Revenue Service
Midwest Region

TO: All Male Taxpayers

The only thing the federal government has not taxed heretofore is your peter. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 30% of the time it is pissed off, 28% of the time it is hard up, and the 2% of the time that it is employed, it operates in the hole. Furthermore, it has two dependents and both are certifiable nuts.

In an effort to balance the budget, a new tax will be assessed on your pecker, based on its size. Using the pecker-checker scale below, please determine your catagory and insert the additional tax under the listing "Other Taxes", page 2, part IV on your form 1040.

Pecker checker scale

10-12 inches: Luxury Tax: $50.00
8 - 10 inches Pole Tax: 25.00
6 - 8 inches Privilege Tax 15.00
4 - 6 inches Nuisance Tax 5.00

Note: Any man with the pitiful peter size under 4 inches is eligible for a refund. However, do not ask for an extension.

Any men with peters in excess of 12 inches should file under "capital gains."

Signed______ _________ ________
I. Will Cutchapeckeroff
Chief, Compliance Section