[Elspode]

1) Fill bottom of bong with either warm water or ice and water. Opinions differ on which is better. fill until bowl tube is about 2/3 covered, but well below the little hole on the side. Do not overfill or you will be inhaling bong water, which is nasty.

2) Place clean, but not too finely powdered smoking material into bowl. Do not overpack or overfill. Medium tightly packed is optimal. It isn't advisable to put cylindrically rolled material into the bowl as the main purpose of a bong is to cut down on the amount consumed in one or two inhalation cycles, both conserving the material and increasing it's efficacy.

3) Exhale completely. Place mouth over top open end of bong with lips *inside* the opening.

4) Ignite substance with butane lighter (matches are okay, zippos are bad, m'kay?) and slowly, steadily inhale smoke into your lungs until lungs are filled. You may wish to draw the smoke up to the top of the tube, then exhale quickly to ensure your lungs are completely empty, before actually taking the smoke into your lungs.

5) Remove flame source from substance. Hold breath.

6) Exhale smoke after you've held it as long as possible. If nothing comes out, you've done an excellent job.

7) Fall over sideways and laugh.

8) Repeat until substance is completely burned to ash, and the plug sucks through into the bong. Be careful, this is when the greatest risk of bong water inhalation occurs.

NOTE: Little hole on side is to be covered while drawing. Releasing finger from covering this hole while coming to the end of your inhalation "shotguns", or deeply slams, the last of the smoke into your lungs due to the bypassing of the bowl. As with all things, practice, practice, practice!