[lumberjim]

For three weeks, I worked for an outfit that sold speakers out of a van. I think I was 18 or 19. The ad in the paper said "hi-fi stereo sales. fast paced environment, casual" So i called. I think I got the job over the phone.

So, i made some money ( cash money ) my first couple of weeks, and was diggin it. We would accost people in parking lots of shopping centers or restaurants or malls, and tell them we were accidentally overloaded with speakers and were on our way to install them at a club, but wanted to sell these 2 speakers before we got there. fun.....i found myself starting conversations with strangers when i was not working. The practice you get talking to people you don't know makes you much more extroverted in daily life. And, as I said, I only worked there for three weeks.

So, one day I'm in the van in training with Roy. Roy, you big jerk off from Boston. With your $^*#% Boston accent and your Sam Kinnison hairdo. I didn't like Roy a whole lot. He used to shoplift major appliances while on duty. I frowned upon this. I found it to be unproffessional. One day he waved a lady out from the curb (pedestrian crossing street) and as she got right in front of him, he lurched the van forward and skiddded to a stop about 2 feet from her. Then he yelled,"I'll run you over and fuck your dead body!" out the window as he drove past her. I pulled his right arm off and hit him with it at that point ( in my mind).

Anyway, we're in the van. He stops this guy. James S Wardrop ( address withheld, but memorized) of Lancaster. At first, James says no, fuck off please; thank you. So we do a couple laps, and there's James waving us over. He changed his mind, and he wants the speakers, but only has $80 in cash; would we take a check? ( we didn't take checks as a rule) So Roy takes the check, and I load the speakers into James's orange and wood panel pinto wagon. $320 check, & $80 cash. speakers cost $150/pr, so we each made $125.
After lunch, Roy drives to the bank that the check is drafted on, and goes thru the drive thru to cash it. There is a problem with the teller's computer and she has to go to another one. about 5 minutes go by, and Roy is honking the horn when 2 police cars pull up in front of us.
"Out of the Van"

uh oh
what did we do?

"you took this guy's check, but never gave him the speakers"

yes i did

"well, he says you didn't and he filed his complaint first, so I'll need your belt, wristwatch, bracelet and shoes before you go into that holding cell next to the beligerent drunk guy's cell(thank god I was in my own cell).

45 minutes, and the bored and sleepy detective came to get me. Mr Wardrop has agreed to drop the chares as long as you give the $80 cash back.

Slick.

The hardest thing I've ever done in my life was not kill Roy on the hour and a half ride thru traffic back to the shop at 7 or 8 at night.

When I began this story, it was because I've held this little kernel of seething anger at Mr Wardrop, and wondered if any of you have a kernel of you own. ( a little Indigo Montoya) {princess bride-"hello, my NAME is Indigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die."}

But as I read what I've written, I realize that I need to find and punish Roy as soon as possible. Anyone seen him?