I need new ones. One sentence, as offensive as possible. (Not too personal)
Something like:
Amy Winehouse looks like a wet, sticky, AIDS-infected, anorexic, syphilated wharf rat.
Or:
Oh yeah, well, your cooch stinks.
Be as creative or as base as you want. Have at it, but try not to piss anybody off (like "LumberJim is a big ol' dumbhead."

).