[limey]

Have You Ever?

1. Felt the sun shining on your bare ass - Yes, it's pretty secluded here ...
2. Been caught screwing in the car - Yes, by a Russian goatherd
3. Been asked to leave a bar - Yes, "we've had your money, you've had your beer, now sup up and sod off!"
4. Been physically removed from a bar - No
5. Outran the police in a car - No
6. Outran the police on foot - No
7. Passed out drunk in a public place - No
8. Driven a car over 100 mph - Yes, well, I wanted to see how it felt
9. Jumped a motorcycle more than thirty feet - No
10. Been fired from a job for screwing around on your boss' dime - sort of, basically things got a little rough after I did way too much net-surfing and I jumped before I was pushed
11. Seen Elvis live in concert - No, but I have seen James Brown live: my eldest brother and I took my mum, it was great
12. Seen Jimmy Buffett live in concert - No
13. Touched a hummingbird - No
14. Been flogged by a rooster/chicken - No
15. Been knocked out cold by a blow to the head - No
16. Served a jail sentence - No
17. Served a prison sentence - No
18. Had sex outside in broad daylight - can't remember?
19. Had a physical altercation with your best friend - yes, I poured Carlsberg Special Brew all over her, then found out it wasn't her fault.
20. Had your ass handed to you by someone literally half your size - No.