I'd take Thor to the visitation, and the funeral. Yeah, it's kinda spooky, at first, but kids are pretty resilient, generally, and based on "knowing" you, I'd guess that yours are more so. Thor's friend will appreciate seeing some people he knows, rather than being stuck in a sea of sad adults that he doesn't know, but keeps being told are second cousins so many times removed. That was my experience with family funerals, anyway. I lost a friend to cancer who had youngish children, and they appreciated having time with their friends. You can also let him know that he doesn't have to do the walk past the coffin thing ... some Visitations are closed casket, it's really more about seeing the family. I'm unused to the coffin remaining open through the service, although I've primarily gone to Catholic funerals. Best one was a Jewish one, which was far more about celebrating the life of the departed, rather than focusing on the departing.
I've been to a couple where the person was cremated, and you wander about looking at some photo displays, and maybe an endless loop DVD memorial thing. I'm used to the interment being private. I've been to both family and public (i.e., police and fire) funerals.
|