[lumberjim]

Did you know there was such a thing? I might have, I don't remember if I knew of them, but I do now because I realize that I am one. Just like drug addicts and alcoholics. I've repeatedly spent my family's money on fast food and lied about it to my wife. I've also fucked our money up on a scary level, and drank too much for the last 3 or 4 years. Jinx and I have had several confrontations about this, and I always tell her I will fix it.... and that I won't fuck up again....and then I cool out for a little while.... but then, i start again..getting sneakier each time. I have convinced her that i will say anything and then just go do what I want.

And it may have cost me everything I really care about. On Tuesday night, jinx asked me to go stay with my mom for 'a while.'

I went to my first OA meeting on Wednesday. They do the same 12 step Process that AA does. I need to get this fixed in a lasting way, and I see and hear proponents of these programs enough to want to believe there is some hope there for me.

So, I'm going to be kind of... different here for a while. I won't ram my problems down your throats, but I wanted to tell you about it because it is the truth.