[lumberjim]

I appreciate all of your replies and support. I'm going to do this. I'm so very amazed at how far away from myself this took me. When you're this scared of losing your life's love, the food thing is a no brainer. But I need to be able to control it when I'm not afraid of losing her. I need to be able to control this for the rest of my life. When I realized that I've become a liar, I got pretty disheartened. That's a long trip to come back from, but I want to do it, and I have to do it.

I will most likely limit my participation on the cellar in general until I start to feel like I am progressing somewhat. I hope it doesn't take too long.