[Shawnee123]

No, it does. It's part of how I've been getting through this: knowing that so many people are struggling and I'm not alone is *somehow* comforting. Part of it is too that I never expected to be in this boat again...it hit me out of nowhere. Of course, I will be proactive in the future and get some savings going once I stop drowning, but right now I've got nothing left...not an ounce of hope.

I will be getting a bonus mid-August, which will really help. So I know I still have it better than so many: it just hurts for me, and brings anxiety to me, and wears down every bit of positive energy...leaves me with a constant stomachache.

Thanks Bri. I'm sorry. I just needed to talk about this, and I have no other options. My friends and family irl think I'm jsut a big fuck-up. Which maybe I am. I want to be someone's dumb but loveable housepet. That I would be very good at.