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vsp · 12-11-2003, 09:45 AM

Doug Stanhope is _hysterical_... when he's doing stand-up. When he's reading from the Man Show teleprompter and following their script, on the other hand...

He's a mild example of the dreaded Sagetization Effect, which is the process where a network takes a funny comic and straps him onto a tame and less-to-completely-unfunny comedy premise. The patron saint is Bob Saget, whose promising standup career derailed in favor of playing straight-man to the Olsen Twins and reading lame Teleprompter quips about yutzes' home videos, but there are hordes of other examples out there.

As for NASCAR, one of the saddest things I've ever seen happened one Sunday when I was coming home from my girlfriend's parent's house. As soon as I hit the US 11-15 junction, there were HUGE crowds on the southbound side, and it kept going for miles -- kids, parents, lawn chairs, flags, banners, the whole shebang. I was genuinely puzzled -- it was too late in the summer for a July 4th fireworks display, parades wouldn't go down a major highway, and as far as I knew, the Presidential motorcade wasn't in town...

I stopped at a Subway for a snack, and asked what was going on. The clerk explained that there'd been a NASCAR race in New York that weekend, and that the trucks with the racecars would be passing through this afternoon.

I verified that these were closed trucks. It's not as if the drivers themselves would be on them, let alone waving to the crowds like homecoming-court candidates or weaving through traffic in their vehicles. It's not as if the cars themselves would be visible, for fear that some diehard Earnhardt fan would throw a pipe bomb into Jeff Gordon's car, or anything like that. It's not as if they were going to stop and kiss babies and shake hands and let people see the cars up close. Nope, these were just tractor-trailers passing through, like any other traffic.

After verifying this, I asked rather loudly, "You mean that these people are standing around in 95-degree heat just to cheer on the EQUIPMENT TRUCKS?" The clerk cracked up, saying "Yeah, it happens every year," while a woman in a Rusty Wallace shirt across the room gave us both an uncomprehending scowl.

I got my sandwich and left, and the mass of alleged humanity on the roadside continued. I reached my exit, and ten or fifteen cars were LINING THE SHOULDER OF THE OFF-RAMP!

The next section of Route 15 was much more rural and wide-open than downtown Shamokin Dam. There were still groups of people at roadside, including some in Amish/Mennonite gear. This amused me to no end, as I imagined them having a cow in their back yards with a TV embedded in its side so that they could watch the races. "Turn ye to the left, Bessie, the picture's getting fuzzy."

Then there was one guy who had a full-size Jeff Gordon cutout with him at roadside. By now I was _howling_ with laughter, which got me a "What's so funny" look from the World's Second-Biggest Jeff Gordon Fan.

I say second-biggest because the best was yet to come. Some yutz a mile or two down the road had unplugged a SODA MACHINE with some NASCAR driver's picture on it and wheeled it to the side of the road. I nearly drove off the road when I saw that. (I really hope he worked at the store that he "borrowed" it from.) It was if this was some sort of Great Pumpkin test, where Jeff Gordon would rise up in the most sincere fan's pumpkin patch and say "YOU like me! You can ride shotgun with me next week at Talladega."

Up until that point, I had viewed NASCAR fans as being sort of like non-clued-in pro wrestling fans -- you know, the Springer-audience types who are genuinely morally offended when Triple H bashes Stone Cold with a chair, as compared to those who view the spectacle as a Hollywood stunt show gone horribly wrong. Both NASCAR and such wrestling fans enjoy watching repetitive, somewhat predictable "sporting events." Both follow larger-than-life characters with unswerving fandom, and are often emotionally upset when someone around them favors the other guy. Both pastimes are often more entertaining when something goes violently wrong than when everything goes smoothly.

But I could never imagine even diehard wrestling fans lining the Northeast Extension to cheer on a truck carrying the ring ropes, the Rock's wardrobe, Stone Cold's knee pads and similar equipment.

And the saddest thing of all was that while many of these roadside worshippers looked offended when I'd stop at a red light and they'd hear my laughter... the majority looked more confused than anything else. You could almost hear the wheels spinning in their heads -- "Heeeeeeey, he's LAUGHING at us. How can he not understand why we're out here?"

12-11-2003, 09:45 AM	#5
vsp Syndrome of a Down Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: West Chester Posts: 1,367	Doug Stanhope is _hysterical_... when he's doing stand-up. When he's reading from the Man Show teleprompter and following their script, on the other hand... He's a mild example of the dreaded Sagetization Effect, which is the process where a network takes a funny comic and straps him onto a tame and less-to-completely-unfunny comedy premise. The patron saint is Bob Saget, whose promising standup career derailed in favor of playing straight-man to the Olsen Twins and reading lame Teleprompter quips about yutzes' home videos, but there are hordes of other examples out there. As for NASCAR, one of the saddest things I've ever seen happened one Sunday when I was coming home from my girlfriend's parent's house. As soon as I hit the US 11-15 junction, there were HUGE crowds on the southbound side, and it kept going for miles -- kids, parents, lawn chairs, flags, banners, the whole shebang. I was genuinely puzzled -- it was too late in the summer for a July 4th fireworks display, parades wouldn't go down a major highway, and as far as I knew, the Presidential motorcade wasn't in town... I stopped at a Subway for a snack, and asked what was going on. The clerk explained that there'd been a NASCAR race in New York that weekend, and that the trucks with the racecars would be passing through this afternoon. I verified that these were closed trucks. It's not as if the drivers themselves would be on them, let alone waving to the crowds like homecoming-court candidates or weaving through traffic in their vehicles. It's not as if the cars themselves would be visible, for fear that some diehard Earnhardt fan would throw a pipe bomb into Jeff Gordon's car, or anything like that. It's not as if they were going to stop and kiss babies and shake hands and let people see the cars up close. Nope, these were just tractor-trailers passing through, like any other traffic. After verifying this, I asked rather loudly, "You mean that these people are standing around in 95-degree heat just to cheer on the EQUIPMENT TRUCKS?" The clerk cracked up, saying "Yeah, it happens every year," while a woman in a Rusty Wallace shirt across the room gave us both an uncomprehending scowl. I got my sandwich and left, and the mass of alleged humanity on the roadside continued. I reached my exit, and ten or fifteen cars were LINING THE SHOULDER OF THE OFF-RAMP! The next section of Route 15 was much more rural and wide-open than downtown Shamokin Dam. There were still groups of people at roadside, including some in Amish/Mennonite gear. This amused me to no end, as I imagined them having a cow in their back yards with a TV embedded in its side so that they could watch the races. "Turn ye to the left, Bessie, the picture's getting fuzzy." Then there was one guy who had a full-size Jeff Gordon cutout with him at roadside. By now I was _howling_ with laughter, which got me a "What's so funny" look from the World's Second-Biggest Jeff Gordon Fan. I say second-biggest because the best was yet to come. Some yutz a mile or two down the road had unplugged a SODA MACHINE with some NASCAR driver's picture on it and wheeled it to the side of the road. I nearly drove off the road when I saw that. (I really hope he worked at the store that he "borrowed" it from.) It was if this was some sort of Great Pumpkin test, where Jeff Gordon would rise up in the most sincere fan's pumpkin patch and say "YOU like me! You can ride shotgun with me next week at Talladega." Up until that point, I had viewed NASCAR fans as being sort of like non-clued-in pro wrestling fans -- you know, the Springer-audience types who are genuinely morally offended when Triple H bashes Stone Cold with a chair, as compared to those who view the spectacle as a Hollywood stunt show gone horribly wrong. Both NASCAR and such wrestling fans enjoy watching repetitive, somewhat predictable "sporting events." Both follow larger-than-life characters with unswerving fandom, and are often emotionally upset when someone around them favors the other guy. Both pastimes are often more entertaining when something goes violently wrong than when everything goes smoothly. But I could never imagine even diehard wrestling fans lining the Northeast Extension to cheer on a truck carrying the ring ropes, the Rock's wardrobe, Stone Cold's knee pads and similar equipment. And the saddest thing of all was that while many of these roadside worshippers looked offended when I'd stop at a red light and they'd hear my laughter... the majority looked more confused than anything else. You could almost hear the wheels spinning in their heads -- "Heeeeeeey, he's LAUGHING at us. How can he not understand why we're out here?"