[Aliantha]

Maybe the excessive gift buying by other grownups has taught him to associate happiness with toys and things, moreso than self worth?

In my opinion the only answer is really to simply cut back on the gifts and make sure everyone else does too. Yeah I know you have a hard time controlling MIL, but it's really the only way I think.

I don't think 7 is too young for chores and pay or rewards. Not even close to too young. My cousin has a star chart reward system going for her two boys who are in grade 1 and kindergarten. It works well for her. My boys have always had chores to do also, and they get rewards too. I think they've pretty much always been required to do jobs around the house, and I'll expect Max to do the same. The key is that kids are never too young to learn about reward for effort. It's what teaches them the value of things. I thoroughly believe that the younger they start helping out and being rewarded for it, the better off they'll be.