[Sundae]

I see what you're saying, but it's unlikely. I only moved back here in 2008, and my sister has resisted my charms for far longer than that.

For example she visited my house TWICE in the four years I lived there with my boyfriend/ fiance/ husband. And one was the night before my wedding and only because she felt she had to drive my Mum there. And back then I was in a really good job. I invited her so many times, but it was always inconvenient.

If she doesn't love me because I've had mental health problems then she's only had evidence of that quite recently. And can I point out, Mum told her I was attending daycare because I was potentially a suicide risk and she did not phone, email, contact me in any way. Nothing. Six months earlier I'd sent her a bunch of fucking balloons when she was hospitalised with a cut hand! (she had to be operated on due to risk of infection because she ignored medical advice and refused earlier treatment)

Tempted to delete the above because I know how it comes across. But it is how I feel. I don't really love her - how can you when someone gives you nothing in return? - but I want her love and concern and respect so much... And it won't happen. And it hurts.