Quote:
Originally Posted by plthijinx
drugs+alcohol+abuse=oil and water. they do not mix.
everyone here in this forum knows what i've been through in the last 5 or so years. pay very close attention to what i am about to post. don't walk. RUN THE FUCK AWAY FROM HIM. that is solid advice right there. find a shelter if you have no where else to go. or a friend. or somebody. anywhere he can't find you. i know from first hand experience. i know i've posted some if not most of what happened to me somewhere here but i'll put it in a nutshell. i was in a mental, verbal and physical abuse relationship. the woman i was dating, hereafter known as crazy bitch, was, well, Crazy. she was an ex-meth head (so she said), alcoholic and pill popper. she would talk me down. way down. beat me when she didn't get the rise out of me she wanted or even worse, call the cops on me and say i beat her when i didn't do what she wanted. i should have run from this woman. i didn't. i blamed my lackadaisical attitude towards her as love. pfft. whatev. all my friends saw it. the two cellarites that met her saw it. even strangers saw it. my answer to why i was with her when they questioned me? "oh, you don't know her like i do." boy was i wrong. she completely RUINED my life. i am still to this day trying to recover. you see she went a little too far with the police calls and i wound up in prison because of lies. went to the penitentiary for crimes i did not commit. run woman. get out. do what it takes. but get away from this dude and your mental state will heal with time. love my ass. you think you love him. you don't. trust me. i know.
that's my  |
I appreciate your kind words. Some may say I have a defeatist attitude; although I call it realism. There are days I just want to die.
I really don't care about myself anymore. I eat in order to survive; if I died, it woud kill my parents. Everyday is filled with despair. I see so many happy couples, yet I know I can never have that happiness. It will never happen for me. At times I just want to tip over and die. Nobody cares, but I do. Did you know that I gave my winter coat to a homeless person?? At times, like now, I just want to fade away...
Always - Pam