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Izzy Whizzy, let's get Quizzy

1. Which British Children's Show did I plagiarize the thread title from? No fucking clue.
2. What's your favorite houseplant? Geranium, or marijuana.
3. You open the front door and there's a wet, scrawny puppy whimpering on the mat. What do you name it? I name him "Porch Shitter".
4. You win a free books from the "Idiot's Guide To" series. Which one do you choose? "The Idiots Guide To Dealing With Idiots".
5. Alaska or Florida 24/7/365? Southern Alaska.
6. What does your doormat look like? This; Goddamit, I can't insert a pic from Flickr no more, see the pic below.
7. If you were to attempt to break a Guinness World record to raise money for a charity you support, what record would it be? Anne Murray's Greatest Hits
8. Scrabble or Monopoly? Scrabble
9. Do you fold down the corner of the page to mark your place in the book you are reading? I use an ancient bookmark from Waldenbooks, gotta be over fifteen yrs old.
10. How often do you wear a hat? Whenever I leave the house.
11. What is your favorite candy or chocolate bar? Straight Hershey bar. Or Symphony.
12. What is your most embarrassing "bodily (mal)function" moment? Sharted in fifth grade.
13. What is the most you ever paid for a ticket to an event and what was the event? $17.50 for Queensrÿche tickets.
14. What is the first non-English swear word you learned? Scheiss.
15. How many roads must a man walk down? One, but, ya gotta pick the right one.
16. How many open condiments do you have in your fridge? Using a wide definition of 'condiment', 37. Good God.
17. Darth Vader or The Terminator? Betty White.