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I had two versions of my reply written. In the first version, I said there are times in your life when you are simply not permitted emotional closure. Getting dropped by someone you cared about. Getting fired from a job. The death of a loved one. And, yes, getting let go from a band. And it's NOT polite. But that's because it can't be. Look, each of us had reasons for wanting you to stay and wanting you to go. But in the long run, isn't it even MORE rude for me to detail everyone's considerations? And, think about it, do you really want a list of things we thought you might have done right or wrong? No, because then there would not be closure again; all the old wounds would open. When really, isn't it the best behavior to simply put this behind you, concentrate on improving yourself for yourself, and find a new act to kick ass in? Because if you believe in yourself, and seriously want to be playing music, dwelling on past situations is simply self-destructive. Think about it, won't you? I do wish you the best, but please, inherent in your question is you asking me to betray the people with whom I remain in a functional, working band. Not only would that be highly professional of me, but I would not remain their friends for long if I did that, you understand?
...but in the end, I realized that he really wouldn't understand it, and would just continue to stew. And he proved me right immediately. I told him A) his question was rude and B) it was all high school drama bullshit. His response: A) I'm sorry you took the question that way, so sorry that I will now ask it again. B) I'm doubling down on the high school drama bullshit.
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